Another garden poem

I’m not sure what it is about gardening that brings out the rhyme and meter in me, but it seems to have happened again. (Previous effort: Garden delights.)

Response to the gardener’s proposal

Do not speak to me of roses
rooted in a garden fair:
I would rather hear of meadows
and the thistles growing there.

Do not talk of ordered orchards
laid in rows all long and neat:
I would rather dream of wildwood
overgrown with bittersweet.

If marriage be a stately garden,
it were all too mild and tame:
measured beds with well-marked borders
hedged and trimmed to look the same.

I prefer a reckless corner
riotous with self-sown seeds,
tended with unbound affection
and a fondness for glorious weeds.

*     *     *

A question, dear reader: Do you prefer it laid out as above or below?

Response to the gardener’s proposal

Do not speak to me of roses rooted in a garden fair:
I would rather hear of meadows and the thistles growing there.

Do not talk of ordered orchards laid in rows all long and neat:
I would rather dream of wildwood overgrown with bittersweet.

If marriage be a stately garden, it were all too mild and tame:
measured beds with well-marked borders hedged and trimmed to look the same.

I prefer a reckless corner riotous with self-sown seeds,
tended with unbound affection and a fondness for glorious weeds.

*     *     *

I like the visual weight of the four-line stanzas, but worry that it may interfere with reading, which should be phrased as two lines. What do you think?

Advertisements

6 responses to “Another garden poem

  1. I do like the 2 line stanzas better. The 4-line version feels too weighty to me for meadows.

  2. I find I read it the same way in both formats. My preference is the 4 line stanza, but it doesn’t really change the piece.

  3. I prefer the second version, as it’s easier to take in the rhymes.

    So this sounds like a no to the gardener’s proposal? Unless perhaps he or she is willing to have a messier garden.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s