A few Saturdays ago, I had to work at the library for several hours. When I came home, one of the flower beds in the front yard had been transformed: weeds and chaos had given way to mulch and order.
It was like magic! I left a seedy looking yard and several bags of mulch and returned to a beautifully mulched flower bed. I felt like I had stepped into the Grimm fairy tale about the elves and the shoemaker.
I don’t have elves, but I do have Mulch Man.
In the presence of mulch and favorable weather, this mild-mannered traffic engineer transforms into a fearless defender of beds and borders. Dandelions, poison ivy, even creeping euonymus are no match for his mad mulching skills. He weeds! He edges! He carefully protects the crowns of perennials!
Thank you, Mulch Man! Without your vigilance, we would be in violation of several homeowners’ association regulations and in danger of being ridden out of the neighborhood on a rail. You have saved us from much humiliation and a number of fines. How can we ever repay you?
What’s that? No problem. One ice-cold beer, coming right up!